And on the Eighth Day, I had to rest.

So I really was convinced I didn't miss a day yet this week, but it appears that Monday was overlooked...and by Monday I mean Tuesday.  See?!  This is the kind of week I'm having.  Well, Tuesday I was busy at work all day, and then went and had dinner at Debbie & Robert's (meatloaf, which was yummy but I ate too much - go figure!), and then went to Zumba.  I'm thinking after that I just came home and went to bed.  Likely after a beer and a crossword puzzle.
Balls.  I have failed all 0 of you.

Numero Diez: September 30

This is a story all about something that bothers me more than it should.

Once upon a time, my good friend Matt and I created a Powerpoint template for our workplace's monthly Town Hall meetings. His boss offered some constructive criticism, and once it was all said and done it was wonderful. A work of art!

A couple of months ago, Matt moved to Seattle and was replaced by someone we'll call M. I am VERY slowly warming up to M - very slowly as in he's worked here for 2 months and that's probably how many conversations we've had.

The one thing that still irritates me is this: M created a new PowerPoint when he came on. I'm aware that this sounds petty, but for starters ours was awesome. It also was only used like 4 times, and we changed it enough each time that it isn't like it had been overused or anything. Most importantly, his sucks.

Half of each slide is taken up by an enormous image, so the text is too small...and on top of that there are sections of YELLOW text on a WHITE background! As you can see that is not easy to read. So basically only the front row can read anything on the deck. STUPID. I've circled the problem to demonstrate.

I know, I know, it sounds ridiculous...but if you saw it you'd understand!!

Number Niiine.

...That's if I'm even keeping track correctly, which could pretty much go either way. (By the way, we're down to Project 361. I know I could just add on to the end to make up for my shortcomings, but that feels dirty.)

I'd like to begin this post by saying that blog.com is the SHITTIEST website EVAR! If I see another '502 Bad Gateway' message I am going to shove my foot up my computer's proverbial ass! And that's only because I don't know where the website's proverbial ass is. I'm going to take my anger out on the wrong thing, and that's not healthy. I'm like one step away from slapping my mother. Misdirected hostility is a terrible thing (It is, however, a pretty decent 311 song. Whoa, 90s flashback hardcore.)

Moving on, I believe Day 9 is the same as September 29th. Yesterday. And here is my picture.

Time for a nightcap!

...Fucking finally. Between that last paragraph & the successful picture upload, there were SIX error messages. In my head I have broken my foot OFF in this website's ass.

Last night, we had my parents over for dinner. Andy made some wonderful fried chicken. I also took a picture of that, but figured 2 food pictures in a row would move me right on up the ladder of fatass supremacy.

After watching Modern Family, my parents went home. I knew I had to stay up until midnight because today (as in September 30th) is my sister's birthday. I always call her right at midnight, because I'm such an awesome sibling. Andy played Star Wars Galaxies, while I caught up on Gossip Girl & One Tree Hill (shut the fuck up. I've been emotionally invested in these shows for too many years to stop now. It's sick, I know. Can't you focus on the fact that Andy was playing a paid-subscription Star Wars PC game?!)

After accepting defeat, he comes in and lays down. I expressly forbade him to go to sleep, and what does he do?! Falls asleep. I swear, it's contagious. I pour myself a glass of wine, take like 3 drinks and a picture, and I'm out. I mean it was like 11:40 last time I'd looked at the clock.

I wake up at 12:30, frustrated, and call Audrey to tell her happy birthday & tell her the story of what happened.

I shudder to think that I've become SUCH a lameass that I can't even stay awake until midnight, so I am going to blame Andy and the wine. That bottle of wine, for the past 4 days, has put me to sleep. I have poured a glass, not finished it, and woken up the next day. I think there's codeine in it....or something.

(The wine is from Walla Walla, Washington, and a good friend's uncle owns the winery. It's interesting - much sweeter than most cabs, but not "sweet". I hate sweet wines. I like it, but it's not my favorite. And I already passed along the message that Uncle Larry needs to make it less than $19/bottle if he wants my classy ass to drink it.)

Seriously, folks.

I'm going to take this time to share my thoughts on mortality:

I think it sucks, and I don't like to be reminded of it.

Late last week, a friend of mine died in an unfortunate freak accident.  He fell down the stairs at his house and fractured his skull.  They were unable to stop the bleeding into his brain, due to the location.  This person used to mean a great deal to me, and although we didn't stay in touch enough the past few years, it was always a pleasure to run into him.  It took us a while to get to that point, but I was thankful when we did, and I'm even more thankful now that we did eventually reach that.

Matt was a great guy, and one of my first friends in college.  A while after we hung out, we ended up dating for the better part of 2 years.  It was one of those immature relationships, where your friends really maintain the relationship more than you do.  Eventually it ended on not-so-good terms, but once we got past that, we had both evolved as people, and I like to think that it was a good thing for both of us in the end.

I only regret the fact that our tumultuous relationship was the longest, most serious one he ever got to have.  Especially now when I look back on it, I have mostly fond memories, in spite of the fact that it tended to be a rollercoaster.  I hope that he reached that point before he was taken away.

Matt had a big goofy smile that was totally contagious, and was a joy to be around.  He will be missed by a lot of people, and I hope that he knew how much he was loved, by not only the people he sees every day, but those of us who have parted ways with him under one circumstance or another.

Rest in peace.

A whole week, bitches!

On Monday, September 27th, I technically forgot to take a P362 (Yeah, I shortened it. Subject to change - I told you that.) picture. HOWEVER, I have this tendency to take pictures of the food that Andy & I make and/or eat (Yes, I am a fatass.). I did do that yesterday, so I will post that picture, and pretend like I had every intention of using it to begin with.

For the record, it was delicious.

Steak with red wine sauce, roasted asparagus, and a baked potato

day six. on the way home.

Pansies. I mean really.

I think this is how we all felt by the time we were headed back home on Sunday. I was, of course, too engrossed by the Chiefs game on the radio to sleep on the way home but I took a nap once I got there and it was glorious.

Beer, Jello shots, & sunshine sure do take a lot out of you.

P.S. The Chiefs game KICKED ASS.

Epic 80′s Awesomeness – Day 4.5

Of course. The day after I'm wildly impressed with my stick-to-it-ness, I forgot to take a damn picture. I'm going to go ahead and say I thought I did take one...but then I couldn't find it.

HOLY SHIT! As I was typing that I remembered what happened! My phone was dead & I took a picture on my sister's phone. She was supposed to send it to me, but I'm not sure she ever did. I'll add it at a later time and/or date.

So then I guess this post is officially Day 5. I don't have to pretend like this one photo somehow works for 2 days. Although, I think I should tell you now that something this awesome totally COULD count for 2 days. So fuck off.

Holy shit! This alarm clock is the same size as the TV in my bedroom!

In retrospect, flash was probably not the best idea.

So this weekend we went on a float trip down the Gasconade River for my sister's birthday. We stayed in a cabin that wasn't quite big enough for all of us, but it was a blast. That said, the bedroom belonging to me, my sister, and Jenny, had not only this SUPER FUCKING SWEET alarm clock, but it also had a bed that collapsed at least once a day.

The place really wasn't as shitty as I'm making it sound, everything but our bedroom seemed to be just fine and dandy. I mean it wasn't the Ritz, but it was a river cabin. Even if it were the Ritz once upon a time it would end up being some level of shitty. The problem with the bed was that there were no slats or anything through the middle of the frame so the boxsprings kept falling through. I was glad to be the odd-man-out, sleeping on my cot. Third wheel FTW!

This alarm clock, circa 1983, did not help us wake up. But it did prop our window open for the night. As did the Gideon's Bible, but that is neither here nor there.

09.23.2010 – Day three.

Whoa...3 days. That might be the longest I've stuck with any of these Interweb phenomenons!

Today's picture:

Someone's having a low self-esteem day.

At work, if you do something good but not-so-significant in the grand scheme of things, this is what you get. ..usually a couple of them. I've always thought it was actually a decent idea. Probably mostly because people always ask me to do stupid little shit for them, and I usually know these are in my future. I'm always broke (read: a bit of a cheapass), so I use these to buy myself ice cream or chips on days I'm particularly deserving, or when none of the food at home sounds good.

I guess someone else was feeling undervalued when they got theirs.
Sorry, dude.

Day “2″

I missed out on Tuesday, so I guess this shall officially be referred to as Project 362 from this point on. I am going to try to start taking a picture during the day to fall back on in case I forget in the evening. Without further ado, from Wednesday, September 22:

The Double Word Score

Yesterday was officially the first day my Gomer's North started carrying 6 packs of Boulevard Amber, and for that we rejoice!! To make my refrigerator (and myself) even HAPPIER, there it lives, next to Bob's 47, Boulevard's delightful Oktoberfest beer!

I guess this post can't be too curmudgeonly, who can be sad when they possess delicious beer!?

When Amber first came out, it was only available in the Sampler pack. It also took all of a month & a half from the time I read about it to the time I actually was able to get my chubby fingers on it, so this new option for instant and total gratification is good!

Project 365 (day one.)

Project 365 is an iPhone app where you take one picture every day for a year, to sort of chronicle your year. I'm not trendy enough to have an iPhone, but since my phone does have a camera and I like this concept, I've decided to do it completely on my own, without the help of an app. WHOA, I know right?!

In the interest of my project being original, I've decided to call it Project 363 (subject to change) - mostly because I started it Saturday and then forgot about it until today.

Since a picture is worth a thousand words, I'll stop rambling and give you the good stuff. Here is my Day 1 picture, from Saturday, September 18th:

Don't drink and mow.

The story:

I dragged my ass out of bed an hour later than intended, thanks to a keg of Lagunitas IPA on Friday. My head was pounding, but as you can see my lawn was too far gone to ignore any longer, since the mower broke over a month ago and I just got around to having Andy fix it. I put on my shittiest bra and some big sunglasses, and out I went.

The mower started right up, which I should have known to be a bad omen, as I've never had luck starting it on the first try. I mowed for about an hour when I got to the treacherous hill out front. I know there is a tree stump somewhere in this jungle, but I also know there's about 4.5 passes I can make between the deck and said stump. I'm on the 4.5-th pass, as far as I think I can go, so I throw it in reverse to finish up the rest of the front yard - BAM!

I hit the motherfuggin' stump. Of course. There's about 1.5 mower lengths between the stump and a lamppost. I try to do a 3 5-point turn, and since the ground is wet and the grass is long and also wet, FAIL. I start sliding down the hill toward the rock wall - FFFFFUUUUU -

I stop and turn on the parking brake, knowing that won't make a bit of difference if there's no traction. I hop off and wait. Luckily it stops. I try to pull it back up the hill, and then rock it back and forth to get some momentum up.... no luck. Instead I'm sliding down the hill too. Knowing I have no choice but to get the mower down via the wall, I start looking for things I can fashion into ramps. Aha! A door, and a folding table!

I put each item under a front tire, and though one is about a foot higher than the other, I know I can make it work. I walk up them, they hold me, so I try to push the mower onto them. I get it about 6 inches and it doesn't budge anymore. This is when I take the picture. The mower deck is stuck on the top of the door.

So that's the story of my Day One picture!

(In case you were wondering, I called Dad. He came and helped me, and it took us literally 3 minutes to get it down. He unstuck the deck and it came rolling down, with me not-so-gracefully trying to stop it/being dragged along beside it. )